Grazie Italia!

And just like that the European tour is over! The past three weeks have been really exciting and it sucks that it has to end.

Last night was probably the best fucking night of the tour. The whole experience was just really, really interesting. First off I woke up on the bus and looked out the window to see a sign that said “Italia” or something so I figured we were in Italy. I’m smart! I made my way towards the front of the bus to chill with Alex, K’noup and Antranig who were all awake. As we exited in Bologna we noticed young girls (18ish) dressed in white slutty outfits standing on street corners. I think I know what they do for a living. Of course we missed the sign to the venue because we were too busy looking at white sheets so we eventually made a circle to get through to the tiny street where the venue was. Now we had no idea what we were getting into. We approached a closed gate and a guy came out of nowhere on a bicycle. We told him we’re the band and he said follow me. Picture a huge tour bus following a guy riding a bicycle for probably one kilometer lol. It was hilarious. Finally we got closer and closer to the venue and realized it was in an enclosed space. It looked just like a county fair/circus/carnival. It turns out the makeshift venue was part of a leftist movement event in Italy. We knew it was going to be an interesting night.

So we settled into the venue and found out that the bus would be the dressing room. The buses were all parked behind a piece of shit fence held down by cinder blocks. Great security! On the other side of the fence were a growing number of fans gathering throughout the day in hopes of spotting Serj. They were there from like 10AM to 2AM. Dedication!

So as we’re all drooling over the hot chicks on the other side of the fence we were trying to think of ways to kill time since this would be the latest show of the tour with Viza going on stage at 9:45PM. Alex, Orbel and I decided to leave the carnival area to find a taxi to take us to the city. Fail. We were basically locked inside the tent-ridden area of Bologna. We would eat, sleep and do anything else within the fenced borders. Felt like camp!

After hours of playing GTA Liberty City Stories on the bus the fair finally started. We went to the bar and drank lots and lots of wine. When we got to the venue we could hear the roar of the crowd. What we initially thought would be a 600 person crowd ended up being probably 1600. The venue was packed front to back. I could tell Serj’s guys were ready to fuck with us (rookie tourists) when I went on stage to put the setlists. The crowd exploded in cheers when one of the crew guys put a spotlight on me. I wasn’t doing anything but dropping paper on the floor! Fuckers.

When Viza hit the stage the crowd went wild. It was seriously the most electric show they had played. Serj’s crew obviously needed to mess with the guys so they formed a line and walked on stage during the start of Viza’s set. The guys were laughing and wondering what the fuck was going on. Turns out the boys would be playing musical chairs on stage during Viza’s set. It was the most fun I’ve had at a show and I think the guys would say the same. We couldn’t have toured with more fun people.

When Serj hit the stage the place just exploded. I decided to go in the pit once with Chris and once with Alex. I got my ass knocked to the floor and thankfully made it back up before trampling ensued. After the whole show was over we were in the back fence area drinking and having fun. I finally decided to use my all access pass privilege to bring some chicks to hang with. Even seasoned touring men were impressed by the talent I brought. Anyways, nothing really happened but all the girls turned out to be really cool. They were dying to meet Serj but no that wouldn’t happen. Off limits!

I don’t remember much after that other than waking up drunk in a bus on the way to the Bologna airport to fly to Gatwick. We’re currently on Virgin Atlantic flying home. We left London an hour or so ago. I can’t wait to go home but I must say this was an experience of a lifetime. To hang with almost a dozen of my best friends in Europe and beyond while they rock city by city was truly a great experience. Maybe I’ll join them on their next tour. I hope you enjoyed reading the blog as much as I enjoyed recalling all the stories. I loved the comments you all left. I will be emailing the Yerevan signed poster winner within a few days. Take care, be well. See you at the Greek!

Morning Bone, err….

Hola from Zurich, Switzerland where the time is currently 2:30AM. Jivan is playing GTA2 next to me on the bus. I think we got him addicted. He loves stealing cars and running over people. We’re waiting to get to the last show of Europe which is in Italy. Can’t wait to eat their food!

We destroyed the hospitality goodies they gave us within the first hour and all we have left are mini Snickers bars. The vodka and whiskey were the first to disappear.

Last night Viza played in Paris and guess what? Yeah, the show was great but I would like to take this time to say RIP to Alexan’s bass. One of his tuning knobs decided to go out of commission for good. Mario from the FCC (Serj’s band) offered Alex his bass which was super nice. The bass worked out extremely well… well enough to consider purchasing a Warwick. This was like the bajillionth sold out show that the guys played. One really cool thing I noticed that I hadn’t the past 10 years of going to shows – security had big bottles of water for the front row pit people so they don’t die from dehydration. Awesome.

After the show we hung out for a little… the guys signed CDs and posters again. They finally had shirts on sale thanks to super woman Lori for coming from LA to bring merch. We crashed on the bus afterwards because we knew we had 10 hours to Switzerland.

This morning we arrived to Switzerland. I think this country is amazing. Everything is so orderly and so clean. Yay socialism and neutrality? The first thing we did was shower and go to Hooters. Yeah, we were really surprised to find Hooters down the street. After we ate we managed to convince the hot blonde to come to the show. We got her on the list and I think the bitch was a no show.

We headed back to the venue and the guys did their sound check. The sound guy would check every instrument for no more than 10 seconds and give it an ok lol. I guess that was the reason the sound wasn’t spot on. It has been worse (see Yerevan) but it was obviously manageable. The crowd seemed kind of tough but the guys owned Zurich halfway through their set.

After Serj performed they again sold a bunch of CDs and shirts. Once the crowd had cleared we were all gathered back into the dressing room where Mario and Jeff from the FCC. They are some of the nicest guys ever. They are so genuine and are always ready to lend a hand if needed. Actually, the whole fucking crew and of course Serj are some of the greatest people. It’s really good to start touring with experienced, humble musicians. On that note, I think they’re going to fuck with Viza tomorrow night because it’s their rookie tour. I’m going to sleep.

She’s taking my money

Bonjour! It’s impossible to get a French girl to look at you. We are sitting in front of a café next to Bataclan where Viza will perform in several hours. There are groups of fans already gathered behind the barricades. Really nice girls from SOADfans wanted to take some pictures. Thanks for the support! The last few days have been filled with sightseeing and partying. Paris is so damn expensive. You sit down for a coffee and are automatically paying like 10e.

We were going to the Eiffel tower Friday night and four of the guys hopped into the first cab. Before he left, K’noup talked to the front desk lady and asked for a maxi cab to show up for the rest of us (5 people) so we could all fit in. Obviously a regular cab shows up and the front desk lady argues with us saying K’noup ordered a regular one. They wouldn’t let us fit five in the back. Fuck them. We decided to go and drink near the hotel in Bastille. We discovered a new shot at our favorite bar in France. It’s like vodka, raspberry liquor and tobasco. AMAZING! Three of us went home with Spaniards that night. Guess who!?

The next day K’noup went down and yelled at the front desk girl because she fucked up the cab the night before. She tried to defend herself but New York attitude beat the French attitude in this fight. We headed to the Louvre museum at 5:50PM (Saturday) because it closes at 6PM. We accepted the fact that we planned well and can’t make it inside so we walked down Champs Elysees towards the Arc de Triumph then made our way towards the Eiffel Tower since we weren’t able to see it the night before.

Random incident: while at the Louvre Orbel went to the café and ordered a sandwich. Orbel wanted the workers attention so he snapped at him. The guy got pissed and told Orbel “don’t you snap at me!”

Today was the first time they loaded our bus with goodies and we were all excited! They gave us oranges, lemons, Gatorade, water, vodka, whiskey, soda, M&Ms, Snickers, etc! Weeeeeeee! Or shall I say Ouiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!

This blog was rushed. I’ll continue tomorrow with a feature on our tour bus driver Monster Boner. After the show we will head to Zurich, Switzerland!

By the way the show in Paris is already over and I will blog about it tomorrow!

She Cannot Drive, She Cannot F*ck, She Cannot Nothing!

Coming to you from a rundown Parisian laundromat in Bastille. Some guy just dropped his silver thong on the floor. WTF? Alex, Shant, and I are doing laundry before we run out of precious clothes. To be honest this is the first time Alex and I have done our own laundry. What the fuck is this shit?!

Once again Viza rocked Germany harder than Haleb rocked the Middle East. The Cologne show proved to be as successful, if not more, than the Hamburg show. Fucking Germans know how to rock! They had a meet and greet after Serj’s performance and again sold a bunch of CDs and signed a ton of autographs on various body parts.

After the show we had a small informal after party in front of the venue. It was infinitely better than some Armenian “clubs” we went to. We had bottles of beer and Jaeger and got hammered with Viza fans. Alex and I escaped the madness for a moment when a really nice Armenian couple from Cologne offered to show us the Cathedral (Kölner Dom). It was an epic sight.

When we got back the boys were smashed and still partying. I decided to call it a night and went on the bus to sleep only to be interrupted by ________ and a fucking ugly German chick. I gave them my bed for a few minutes. I guess they just talked or ________ can blow a load quicker than it rains in Paris.

After I fell asleep again, I was woken up by _______ and a weird German couple who were offering to do anything to get on board for the ride to Paris. Uhhh no thanks. “I like my kidneys where they are“ says Alex.

Well, now we are in Paris and having 500 euro dinners like we can afford them. Sitting at cafes facing the street drinking Bailey’s and coffee while clapping when French girls walk by has become the norm. If you walk in front of us and we don’t clap we apologize, show your boobies and we might give a shit.

Gotta get back to my stiff clothes and Nutella crepes!

P.S. Imagine driving a tour bus through the tiny streets of Paris. The streets here are tighter than a Danish porn star. Suffice it to say we got stuck. Some jackass decided to park his car in a no parking zone to grab a bag full of lemons which blocked us and backed up Paris traffic for 7 minutes. Salop!

Coca Cola + Electricity = No Electricity

But we’re back!

Welcome to the Uzbek Brothel. We are staying two doors down from the venue in Hamburg which is directly inside the red light district. Our hotel is amongst whore houses, clubs, strip clubs, whore houses, venue, whore houses – you get the point.

Our tour bus picked us up from the airport and we drove to our hotel. We quickly freshened up and hit the streets for drinks. Surprisingly the town was dead. One hooker we talked to said that Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays are the days to be here. Maybe her English was bad or there is something about Tuesdays that I don’t know about yet.

I’m currently writing this from the tour bus. Jivan is next to me practicing duduk to the Viza album. The rest of the guys are inside the venue setting up or watching Serj’s sound check. The show starts in a few hours. We hit the road to Cologne after the show tonight. This will be our first night ever in a tour bus!

A few hours have passed.

After sound check we went upstairs to have amazing dinner… lamb chops or salmon with lemon butter! At 8PM the band was ready to hit the stage and they hit it hard. The German crowd in Hamburg was really great. They were really into it and you could tell by their faces how much they love music and how much they loved Viza music.

The band quickly got all their gear off stage and went to load it on the bus. Unfortunately it started raining as a dozen guys are trying to figure out how to Tetris the gear into the bus compartment. Once we figure it out we run inside and watch some of Serj’s set. Obviously it was awesome again.

Right after Serj finished I rushed to the merch booth with Chris, Alex and Suguru where Viza CDs were going like hotcakes. I swear one was selling every 10 seconds until they were all out. Some people really wanted CDs but we were out so they got Viza posters instead! You can’t listen to a poster but whatever!

After the show we went out for a few drinks to celebrate Antranig’s birthday! I think we’re going to get Oud Schmood even more hammered tonight. That’s all folks.

We just arrived in Cologne and we’re going to look for a place to eat. It looks like we are in Castlevania. I’m sure the guys will be just as successful if not more tonight in Cologne. Peace.

I Was Singing a Song

What’s up world! Writing to you from high above some eastern European country. We’re on our BMI flight into London so we can connect to Hamburg. Speaking of Hamburg, I really miss hamburgers. It’s been a while… hopefully Heathrow will have something appetizing.

Last night the guys played at Ararat Valley Country Club. The place was really nice and there was a really good turnout. Unfortunately, the sound sucked once again. It’s hard to sound good when the sound guy isn’t really a sound guy.  It was like K’noup and dumbek with the rest of the guys in the background. They played for an hour and a half and people seemed to be digging it. The girl who organized the event who was also DJing after Viza would come up to Chris and Antranig during the 2nd and 3rd songs and ask “how many songs do you have left?” Who the hell does that? And she walked across the stage and unplugged Alex with her stupid heels. Afterward they signed autographs and took pictures with the fans. We hurried out of there so we could pack for Germany and go party.

We went to… yeah, we went to That Place for the last time. Everyone had a couple of drinks but I was feeling like shit so I opted out. We said our goodbyes to some of the good people we met in Yerevan. Personally speaking, I’m really going to miss Armenia. Hah, Microsoft Word just tried to autocorrect “miss Armenia” to “Miss Armenia.” Yeah, we partied with her last week. (see previous blogs)

We left for the airport around 9 this morning. When we got there we realized Shant and Orbel were wearing the same Metallica shirts hahah. I guess it’s some secret guitarist thing. When we were getting our boarding passes we noticed this really nice girl we met at the airport yelling loudly at the ticketing agent. I would upload a video but internet sucks here!

We finally made it on the plane and a couple of interesting things happened. I’m sitting next to Orbel and Shant. The lady in front of us decided this is Haleb Airways and changed her child’s diaper at the actual seat. Umm isn’t that what bathrooms are for? It’s ok – the flight attendant yelled at her about hygienic issues.

I’m two bottles of wine and a vodka tonic in and I’m feeling good. The kid behind me is causing more turbulence than the flight requires. Whatever. Good music, good buzz, good flight.

**We’re in Hamburg now, show is tonight, updates coming tomorrow!

AHHHH this was quick!

Привет. Coming to you from Hungover, Yerevan. Our last night in Athens was our last night with Jake. Booooooooo. I should make a poll to see how many people want Jake to return and meet us in Hamburg. We had an awesome time with him and I think he has thousands of amazing shots from on and off the stage. We were already missing him when we went down to the lobby to meet for the airport and realized Serj Tankian wasn’t there!

So we made our travels back to Yerevan. Armavia is by far the worst airline I’ve ever had the pleasure to travel on. Actually there was no pleasure. 3 hours on Armavia felt like 18 on Virgin. After we all boarded the plane Shant realized that his seat (10D) didn’t exist. The seats go from A, B, C to E, F, G lol. Yay Armavia! He was the only person with a D seat. I guess he’s the lucky one who keeps running into trouble with his flight seats (see old Indian lady in earlier post).

When we got to Yerevan Jivan had to run off and meet his grandfather at Sevan because they were going to play for some presidents. I know at least Russia’s president is in town. The rest of us made our way back to our hotel. I realized how much I had missed Yerevan. As soon as we walked in they had a list of names and room numbers ready and we went right up. Thank you Ani Hotel!

Last night Antranig and Chris had an impromptu performance at Calumet Ethnic Lounge Bar. It was really fun as they played some Viza songs strictly on oud and dumbek while everyone else got hammered. Everyone seemed to have fun and dance. There was a really hot chick making animal noises while dancing and yelling CHEESEBURGERSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

Afterwards we went to That Place again (see earlier post once more). I promised I’d never go back but I have gone there twice since that promise. Once was with Miss Armenia (I couldn’t say no J) and the second time was last night. I found myself in a funny situation. Alex and I ordered two Jaeger shots and a bottle of water and the guy said “I’m only charging you for the shots, the water is on the house!” which was very nice of him. So I asked how much the total was and he said 2300AMD so I handed him a 5k bill. He handed me back 1k and gave me this awkward look. Don’t tell me the water is on the house if you’re not going to even give me the correct change back. Nice try!

Today the boys have their last show in Armenia at Ararat Valley Country Club. I think a bunch of groups will be performing tonight as well. I’ll bring you more info on how the show went and some crazy stories later. They actually just left for sound check and I’m lagging so I can put up this blog. Now it’s time to pack for Germany and go to the show!

Just a quick note… how do you witness a person shooting up and a hooker buying heroine within 20 minutes time? Walk through Marni St. in Athens.

Here are some pictures!

Terramazingvibe Park.

So last I wrote to you we were in the beautiful city of Kalamos near the coast. I wish I had an amazing view to look at this time around in Athens but Athens looks like a dump. Let’s just say about 5% of the city is aesthetically pleasing and the rest makes you feel like you’re about to get mugged or shot. Either way it’s still Greece and Greece fucking rocks!

We went to Terravibe Park (finally figured out how to say the name) 2 days ago for the show in Athens. When we got to the venue we were blown away. I mean the first thing we did was walk on the big stage where Metallica, Slayer, Anthrax, and Megadeth had played earlier this year. The stage was huge.

Well we learned we weren’t on that stage so we went to the smaller one which wasn’t even small. We could hear Serj sound checking while we were walking up towards the stage. We went and chilled in our dressing rooms which lacked air conditioning until Serj was done then went up for the Viza sound check.

Once the line check was done someone decided to open the doors to the venue while the band was still on stage and let hundreds of people in. The sound guys told us that a sound check was necessary even though people were continuously flooding in. So yeah, Viza sound checked while fans were watching! They played half of a song and stopped and people immediately started cheering. We knew it was going to be a good show.

We had an hour to kill until show time so we had some yummy food backstage. They had Nutella for me which was awesome. I hope they do this in every city we go to. We kinda lose track of time and we’re told “your show started two minutes ago” while we’re still in the lounge area backstage. We all get ready to hop in a van to go to up to the stage. Everyone gets in the van until some lady says “I think one of my cameramen left something in your dressing room.” So I was stuck helping her out and had to run a quarter mile only to hear Viza had already started playing.

The show was by far the best one they had played. The response from the crowd was so electric and seems tough to beat the rest of the tour. People were jumping up and waving hands by the thousands. K’noup looked like a little boy who had tried Nutella for the first time. It was all smiles and everyone was having a blast.

We stayed on stage to watch Serj as much as possible. He did an awesome job as always and he is always fun to watch.

Today the band has a meet and greet outside of the hotel we are staying in (in Athens). For those people wanting pictures, autographs and the chance to purchase CDs, we’ll be at the front of the Art Hotel located at the center of Athens tomorrow between 2PM and 4PM. the address is 27, Marni Street, 104 32.

Today is the last day we will spend with Jake. We really want him to stay with us for the rest of the tour. We’re really going to miss him. He’s an awesome guy and I wish him safe travels back home to Los Angeles.

We will be leaving back to Armenia tomorrow for a few days until the second leg of the tour starts. Hahahah cleaning lady just walked in on me and freaked out. She thought no one was in the room. Anyways, back to Armenia tomorrow until we hit up Germany. Here are some pictures and videos under the poll. Please fill out the poll so I get a better idea of what you want to hear about!

Be Cool, Yolanda.

Ella malaka! I’m coming to you from Kalamos, Greece with an amazing view of the Mediterranean as I type this. See? The night/morning we left Yerevan Viza played a show at Mezzo Club. It was one of the nicest places we had been to in Yerevan. Jake and I went to Garni and Geghart (Wikipedia them for more info) earlier that day which were both beautiful. After our little adventure I felt like shit possibly from the water we drank. I decided to stay in our room instead of going to sound check with the guys.

So we had to pack our bags really quickly because we were flying to Greece a few hours after the show. There was no way in hell we could pack fast enough and at 9:45PM half of us were still at the hotel. Needless to say we got to the show (almost) on time. (The set time was 10PM)

Viza rocked Yerevan for the second time. People were going nuts and it was pretty awesome seeing a good turnout and a USA flag hanging from the balcony.  Jivan’s family got me hammered with vodka shots even though I was still feeling really sick. Surprisingly the vodka healed me.

We got our bags and made it to the airport around 4:30AM. Of course Jivan had a bottle of cognac on him so we took shots before we boarded the plane. We were flying Armavia and it was baaaad. I mean, my knees were touching the seat in front of me and I’m not even a tall dude. No entertainment system on board. Hiram smelled someone smoking a cigarette as soon as the cabin doors closed. I crashed for a little until they woke me up to eat but I took one bite of the bread and it made me wanna puke. I didn’t even bother trying anything else. If you fuck up the bread you’ve probably fucked up the rest.

So anyways, we land in Greece and guess what plane we land next to! Hah the irony. Alex and I knock out for about 10 hours and wake up at midnight to go to a discotheque along with Jivan, Chris and Jake. We met the owner of the club along with his brother and mother and they hooked us up with everything from dessert to figs to drinks. Jivan and Chris did an impromptu performance for them. We partied all night until about 6AM. Greek chicks are soooooo hot.

After the disco, we went to the beach to soak our feet and relax. It was beautiful being there at night. Very serene.

Anyways, we are getting ready to go to Terra-something park to rock Greece. See you from Athens!

FYI – everyone thinks Jake is Serj in Armenia. Whether we go to a church, store, airport, or anywhere else people stare at him and smile. Even one guy came up to him and was in shock saying he was so happy to meet him. Hahaha almost! Also, I’m leaving the poster contest up for a while. Keep commenting for a chance to win! Peace.

Some pics for you!

Teaser videos from Viza live @ Terravibe Park in Athens, Greece.

Haleb Style.

I just need to make a quick blog update before my mind cleared. Yesterday we went to breakfast and dinner at a restaurant two blocks away called Mer Tagh. It’s probably the best food in Yerevan and the guy Sarkis is awesome. So we left dinner and right when we almost got to our hotel a really nice lady and her daughter wanted a picture with K’noup. So I told them I’d take a picture for them and email it to them immediately when I got to the hotel. Next thing you know this dude comes and says “I have a better camera…” (I’m using a normal Canon point and shoot) and takes pictures of them. Well fuck him because I emailed the pictures to the fans literally 6 minutes after snapping them J

We went to a really nice cafe last night where we had drinks and hookah. Not sure how the fuck we racked up a 100k bill… but yay! it’s not dollars.

So after sitting at a café for several hours Antranig’s cousins meet up with us. The group gets smaller and smaller until we lose K’noup and Jake. Now it’s me, Alex, Antranig, and his cousins. His cousins suggest we go to a club having a “White Party.” Wtf is a white party? Me, Alex and Antranig are all wearing black.

So we get there and in true Haleb fashion people take white shirts off or find white shirts outta nowhere to give to us so we can get in. The owner is calling his friend (awesome guy, just met him there) trying to get him to deliver a pack of wifebeaters lol. Umm, so Antranig disappears (Haleb Style) and calls me and says there are a bunch of chicks coming and we better not leave. We decide to go to another club just a few minutes away.

So who does he show up with along with his cousin? Oh no one… just Miss Armenia. You know, who parties with Miss Armenia Haleb Style out of the ordinary? We do.

Tonight is another show in Yerevan at Mezzo club. I’m extending the poster contest (see post below) to this blog as well. I think Viza is going to rock the hell out of Yerevan tonight. We’re flying to Greece a few hours after the show. Catch you from there! Peace!